I woke up this morning excited for the day. The in-laws were going to take the kids for most of it (kiddos are off this week for “midwinter break,” a foreign concept to those of us who grew up in the South!). The plan was that the children would help their Oma and Opa continue unpacking/moving into their rental house while I had some time to organize my craft room and maybe actually do some ART for a change.
Instead, I spent the morning shoveling the driveway.
We don’t have anywhere to be, but it was the Adult Thing To Do. I couldn’t sit there creating things with a driveway full of snow.
I still didn’t get done — not that we had THAT much snow overnight/this morning, but I got a late start (snow shovel was at the in-laws’ house because reasons), and between Raynaud’s forcing frequent breaks to un-numb my fingers and my having given blood a few days ago, progress was slow. I shoveled until I was so weary I felt hollow inside.
Then I saw the plow drive by and completely fuck up the sidewalk I had just finished, and I put the shovel down and went inside to reset my attitude.
As I was de-snow-gearing, grumbling to myself about all the work still to be done, my heart twanged for the art I’d rather be making today. Time to use my airbrush is rare (once the kids are in bed it’s too loud, and before they’re in bed, I don’t have the uninterrupted time I need). I shushed my mind and all of its to-do lists and listened to my heart.
Who decides what our priorities should be, anyway? I’m not a machine. I’m not built to go through the day methodically clicking through each task until I drop into bed, exhausted. My driveway is good enough for now; there are other adults who can take care of it if more needs to be done later.
Art is spiritual connection for me. It grounds and it gives wings.
Laundry is in the washer or already folded (except for the socks spread all over the couch in need of matching up), the dishes are mostly clean, and it’s all good enough for now.
When’s the last time you listened to your heart and did what you needed to do for you, instead of what you “should” have been doing?
It’s all about balance, after all.